Why The Black Wives’ Club?

Once I decided that relationship coaching was to become my niche, I immediately started putting a plan of action in place that would allow me to reach couples, parents and most importantly women. Specifically, African-American women.

One of those big ideas was to create the Black Wives’ Club. The purpose was to build a network for married women of color. Creating a place for us to let our hair down, discuss the joys and pains of marriage (mostly the joys) became my passion. But somewhere down the line I began to feel a little guilty and nervous about discussing my new project with certain friends and family (specifically friends who were of other races and those that were single). I had a sense my mission would be misunderstood and I worried about the exclusion some would feel.  But when I focused on the purpose, it was not about excluding anyone; it was about supporting something big, black marriages.

All marriages (and wives) could use support, but because more African-American children were growing up in single parent homes, something needed to happen to encourage black marriages. There is a role we all can play in that. This is why I absolutely love BMWK and how Ronnie and Lamar are doing their part. My part became encouraging the black wife to build a healthy marriage. There were certain needs that I felt black married women had. For example, we need to know that those days we struggle to hold it together (taking care of kids, household and our men) we aren’t the only ones with that challenge. When financial woes threaten to tear down our homes, we need a release.  Those times when the marriage is going great and we want to share just how much we love our men, it is great to have someone who can relate. Wives can vent, laugh, cry, share, uplift and encourage. One of the questions asked of women who were requesting membership into the club was “Why do you want to be a member?” The responses varied from networking with like-minded women to getting ideas on how to make a marriage stronger. So while it was never my intention to leave anyone out, I knew that black married women needed a network, but black marriages as a whole would benefit from The Black Wives’ Club.

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